


There's Regulations About That Kinda Thing

by WittyWallflower



Category: The Orville
Genre: Comman Performance, Crush, Cupid's Dagger, Darulio - Freeform, Episode Related, F/M, Gossip, Majority Rule, Making bets, Relationship Advice, Slow Burn, awkward friend moment, drunk dudes being dumb
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2017-11-26
Packaged: 2019-01-17 22:51:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12375783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WittyWallflower/pseuds/WittyWallflower
Summary: Is there more than just mutual professional respect between Lt Kitan and Captain Mercer?A few disconnected scenes where various characters explore the answer to that very question.





	1. Do Moclan's even flirt?

Lt Kitan bused her tray and utensils into the recycler after finishing her meal. She tugged down the hem of her uniform and resolved herself to her task. She had seen Bortus and Klyden enter earlier and she was resolved to speak to one or both of them. She approached their table where the couple sat in silence. They weren't chatty with each other in general but sometimes it was creepy to watch them sit there just staring at each other impassively.

Klyden’s plate was empty. Moclans tended to eat quickly and efficiently, and the committed pair often ate the same meals. So she was surprised to see Bortus hadn’t finished yet. He took regular bites at his usual pace, but she noted how little food the utensil lifted to his lips. If those bites were any smaller, they wouldn’t be enough to sustain a Parlavian newt the size of your pupil.

Man, she thought, the baby must be driving Bortus nuts. He was clearly in no hurry to return to their quarters.

“Uh, hi,” she stepped forward, clearing her throat awkwardly “Bortus, Klyden. I hope you’re having a… pleasant evening.”

She tried a smile as the two men acknowledged her presence with simultaneous nods.

“I was wondering if I could speak to you, maybe?” she continued when neither spoke.

Bortus and Klyden shared a look. Neither man said anything but they seemed to have an entire conversation with just their eyes. Or maybe it was more of argument because when Klyden stood his manner was even more stiff and cold than the norm for a Moclan.

“Excuse me. I must return to our quarters to care for our son.” He stepped aside to offer his chair to her and didn’t acknowledge Bortus as he left.

She took a seat, fiddling idly with her fingers on the table top while she watched Bortus take a few more tiny bites. The whole thing with the baby’s gender had been a strain on his relationship with Kylden. It didn’t help that the whole crew had opinions on what the Moclan couple thought ought to be a private family matter. With everyone taking sides, it only fueled the continuing arguments.

“I had a question or two about… pair-bonding” she said, trying to find a detached, professional-sounding way to sum up dating and love and that shit. “You’re one of the few people i know who is in a successful relationship.”

If his species was closer to humans physiologically, Bortus would have snorted response to that. Given the current strife in his home unit, Lt Kitan knew fewer functionally mated pairs than she thought. But Bortus just regarded her, patiently waiting for her to speak.

Alara glances around the mess hall, making sure know of the more aurally sensitive crew members were close enough to eavesdrop. If she doesn’t ask Bortus now, she will never get the guts to ask anyone ever and will just keep wondering until the wondering starts to distract her from her job. That’s wouldn’t do at all.

“How do you tell if someone wishes to enter a… romantic partnership with you?” she finally blurts out in a low voice.

“In my species when an individual chooses a mate-“ Bortus begins.

“Yes, okay.” Alara hurried to interrupt. She knew just enough about Moclan mating rituals to know she didn’t want to know anything about their mating rituals. “But what if the usual rituals didn’t apply. Like if he is from another culture, or if he couldn’t do the usual things to show his interest because of… reasons.”

“I am not sure what reasons you mean.” Bortus said.

“Well, uh…” Alara groped for a way to explain herself that wouldn’t make it completely obvious who she was talking about. “Like if we serve together. Its not considered professional or appropriate for Union members who serve together to get… involved. How can you tell they might be interested if they can’t do the usual things to show you?"

Bortus considered this for a moment.

“What evidence makes you suspect the possibility?” he asks.

“Um, well. He’s really nice; he’s always encouraging me when I’m not sure if I can do something. He thinks its actually cool that I’m stronger than every species on board, but he doesn’t make a big deal out of the fact that I’m different from him.” Alara was glad Xeleyans don’t blush as she spoke warmly on her subject. “And he’s always waggling his eyebrows at me when he says something he thinks is funny, like he wants to make sure I’m in on the joke.”

“I see. “ Bortus was silent for a moment as he considered how to advise his young crew-mate. “Judging by this positive description of him, I take it you would be amenable to mating with the Captain if he approached you?”

“Bortus!” Alara cried, aghast that it was so obvious who she meant and to hear her shameful secret so bluntly stated aloud.

Crushing on her commanding officer? How unprofessional. How cliche! It made her feel exactly the way she hated for people to treat her: like a little girl.

“The traits you listed point to none other than Captain Mercer;” Bortus frowned, he had been sure of his conclusion. “Is he not-?"

She waved him into silence, embarrassed.

“Yeah okay, you’re right, just shut up about it, will ya?” Alara sighed and tucked her hair behind her ears. “It doesn’t matter who it is because like I said, its against the rules.”

It wasn’t actually against the rules though. There were regulations, sure, and strict codes of conduct to follow and probably a ton of paperwork to file. But there was no hard-and-fast rule that said shipmates couldn’t date. Still, she knew it was no simple matter, particularly between the captain of the entire ship and that ship’s youngest officer. It wasn’t even an option, and she wasn’t really looking for it to be.

She just wanted to know if he wanted it to be. Humans are really expressive and that usually made them pretty easy to read. But they also had the ability to manipulate those expressions, making it pretty easy for them to lie without uttering a word. Add the fact that humans are a gregarious species that loves to flirt with everyone and everything in general.... she couldn’t figure him out.

Alara was curious, unsure how to read Mercer's behavior towards her. Whether she just had a particularly kind and friendly captain, or a captain who was trying to lowkey shmooze her.

Not that it would change a single thing if she knew. But she wanted to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was written right after the 4th episode of the show so apologies if(when) this starts to diverge from canon and become OOC


	2. Command Performance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A quick revisit to a few scenes from the second episode with a little added (vaguely-shippy and completely self-indulgent) introspection from both characters.
> 
>  
> 
> Or, what Ed and Alara are thinking while he'd about to die in a people-zoo.

“Captain!” a voice that wasn’t Kelly’s harpy screeching finally penetrated the irritation, depression, and beer haze in Ed Mercer’s brain.  
  
“Alara?” he goggled at his Chief of Security.   
  
Wait, what?  
  
He rushed over to the window where she stood beside Isaac, on the other side of the barrier that let the Calivons stare at the 'alien animals' all day.   
  
“Alara, what are you doing here?” he asked. Had they been captured? Was the zoo opening a Xelayan exhibit? It was dangerous for any “underdeveloped” species to be anywhere near Calivon space.   
  
“Getting you out.” Alara announced confidently.  
  
“God, am I glad to see you.” Ed sighed his relief, then cringed internally. “Sorry about my breath.”   
  
What a poor representative of the human species he had been, an unwashed slob in a bathrobe, doing nothing but a lot of drinking and a little petty bickering with Kelly. It wasn’t how he wanted the human species to be viewed. It wasn’t the kind of man he wanted to be. It certainly wasn’t the kind of Captain he wanted to be in the eyes of his crew.  
  
“Wait a minute,” Ed immediately realized. “You couldn’t have gotten Union clearance to come here.”  
  
“No.” She glanced away, almost shy, then met his eyes before she said, “We took a little field trip.”

  
  
When Alara and Isaac head off to find the zookeeper who could set Ed and Kelly free, he watched them go with a grin.  
  
He must be doing something right as captain to inspire this much loyalty in his crew. They had come after him against orders and with great risk to their own safety. He was still a kinda worried about getting out of here. But with a crew so determined (and talented), there wasn't much they wouldn’t be able achieve.   
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
Alara’s heart raced as she listened to the zoo administrator order the extermination of her captain and commander. Her mind raced as well, trying to come up with some kind of plan. Calivon technology was too superior. They’d manage to trick their way here but there was no way they could stage a jailbreak with force. Appealing to the administrator’s better nature obviously wasn’t going to work. His species actually enjoyed watching the “inferior” live their lives. Ed and Kelly weren’t actually _people_ to them, just entertainment.   
  
_Okay Alara, think. We can’t fight them. We can’t sweet talk them. Maybe we can bribe them? Union currency wasn’t going to mean anything to them but what about a trade? Not of technology, or weapons obviously, theirs are way better anyway. What does the Orville have that the Calivon would want? What do we even know about the Calivon beyond the fact that they like to watch other people and look down on them as lesser beings?  
_

  
  
_Wait a minute…._

  
  
_Bingo._

  
  
It took some doing for Isaac to talk to the administrator into listening to her. Alara jittered impatiently the whole time. She knew she was walking a fine line for her Captain’s survival here. The very fact that the ‘pet’ was talking instead of Isaac might spell their doom but it would take to long too translate through Isaac. She tensed as she wondered what the euthanasia sweep involved, how it killed, how quickly.   
  
Could the captain and Kelly avoid it long enough for Alara to get a chance to save them?   
  
Or was it already too late?   
  
Finally she got the administrator to listen to her. Finally, almost lazily, he called up his display and ordered the sweep halted. He led them to chamber 484 at a casual stroll that had Alara gritting her teeth. She wanted to break him in half when he warned them though he couldn't guarantee the humans survived the brief sweep, he would be happy to offer another species in trade.   
  
But when Alara saw that her commanding officers were still alive, she was more than happy to hand over what she promised. Even if it had been a desperate move, it still meant a Calivon had been outmaneuvered by an “inferior, underdeveloped species”. Which was a big win in her book. But she would have gladly taken a loss if it meant the Captain still came out of it okay.   
  


* * *

 

  
  
  
“For outstanding courage, valor, and resourcefulness, in the finest Union tradition,” Ed announced, mentally adding ‘of breaking the rules’, as he addressed the assembled crew in the mess hall. “I hereby present you, Lieutenant Alara Kitan, with the Sapphire Star.”   
  
He placed the medal around her neck.  
  
The crowd cheered as Ed smiled down at her, mouthing “thank you”, though he’d already said it aloud more than once. He shook her hand and for a moment he didn’t want to let go. He gave her a gentle squeeze before he released her and she turned to the crowd to beam at everyone. They were still clapping and Mercer joined the applause as he watched her, matching her big smile with his own.   
  
She was the youngest Sapphire Star recipient in the Union. The first member of his assembled crew to earn accolades. He was damn proud of her and it was an honor for Ed to be the one to award it to her. A deeper honor still to be the one who inspired the acts that had earned her that medal.   
  
Alara Kitan was basically amazing and he was lucky to have her on his crew.   
  



	3. At Least They Haven't Started a Pool (Yet)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malloy and LaMarr are the nosiest people on the ship. Their gossip gets hella inappropriate on a regular basis.

The boys were in the mess late after their last shift, getting nice and tanked off Orelliean shimmer-hooch since they had the next two shifts free. The night shifts were sparsely populating the mess, grabbing breakfast or dinner depending on where they were in their day cycles. Out of deference to the worker bees who were still abuzz, Malloy and LaMarr sipped their liquor from the same mugs the mess served coffee in. Anyone who didn’t know them better might think they were just tired instead of tipsy.   
  
Everyone on board knew them better than that.   
  
And nobody on board would be surprised to find them speculating on the lives of their crew-mates, trading gossip and making bets about who was (or ought to be) sleeping with who. John was lamenting the lack of diversity he saw in the crew’s sexual hi-jinks.  
  
  
“All I’m sayin’ is, someone around here needs to get some alien strange. Expand their sexual repertoire beyond the species on board this ship.” LaMarr yawned, then brought his mug up to drain the last drops. from it “The captain is going to be too busy hooking up with Grayson to get the job done.”   
  
  
Malloy scoffed and poured another round for them both. “Captain ain’t sitting around pining after his ex wife.”  
  
“I dunno, man. Lot of tension there. Lot of history.”  LaMarr said. Grayson was pretty hot in that basic bitch kind of way. She had to be looking to get Mercer back; why else would she willingly choose to work under the dude she had cheated on? Its career suicide.  
  
“Yeah, a lot of history.” Malloy acknowledged, but he was clearly opposed to the idea. "A lot of bullshit between them. They work together okay cuz they have to and they’re professionals. But they aren’t making goo-goo eyes at each other when our backs are turned.”  
  
“At least Mercer isn’t.” Was all Lamarr had to say.   
  
Malloy let that one go. Ed was his best friend and he wouldn't let him make the same mistake twice. Luckily he was right. Ed wasn’t pining for Kelly.   
  
“Alara said the two were about to kill each other when she found them on Calivon. Left alone for a few hours with nothing to do and they choose to fight?” Malloy said, shaking his head. "Nah, I don’t see them hooking up again. Besides, Mercer already banged that time-traveler chick, right? She even wanted him to go back to the future with her. She was human but that's gotta count for something.”  
  
“Now there’s one I’d like to place a few bets on.” Lamarr mused.  
  
Malloy shot him a look of confusion, having lost his friend’s train of thought. Bet on what? That future chick didn’t exist anymore, or yet, or will not exist, or wouldn’t have existed. Or something. Time travel was confusing enough when he was sober.  
  
“Alara.” Lamarr elaborated. “What do you think its like to make it with a woman that strong? How would you even go about that?”  
  
“I haven't heard of any Xelayan/Human relationships, but my guess would be: very carefully.” Malloy said. He didn’t want to think about Alara’s super-strong vice-like grip anywhere near his person. He liked his squishy bits unsquished.   
  
“That doesn’t leave her a lot of options on board. Girl’s gonna have quite a dry spell. Unless she takes Isaac up on his offer.” LaMarr joked.  
  
The two laughed at the idea of their robot crew-mate as a robo-dildo, doing impressions of Isaac making stilted, monotone dirty talk. After the chuckles died down, they regarded each other in silent contemplation for a split second.  
  
Then began to making bets on the likelihood of a Xelayan/Kaylon rendezvous.


	4. Personnel Reviews

When Kelly Grayson entered her captain's ready room with a pile of tablets for the personnel assessment in one hand, Ed couldn't bite back a groan. It was just pointless busywork. Its not like his Union superiors would let him do much by way of restaffing the ship this early in his first command. It was just writing report cards that no one would really read. Boring paperwork.

When Kelly pulled a bottle of sparkle-whiskey from behind her back with the other hand, Mercer had to grin at her. At least he didn't have to do the job alone and sober. Whatever their history may be, he and Kelly did this job well together. And she had excellent taste in intoxicants. 

So slogging their way through the list of department heads was only minimally painful. It was easier when they finally made it to the bridge crew that they both worked closely with every day. 

"Gordon is good. Damn good. Looks like you made the right call there." Kelly was forced to admit. MEd had known Malloy for a long time, but Kelly had never served with him. And maybe she wouldn't have had the most flattering guess as to what kind of officer Gordon Malloy would turn out to be. Still, he'd come through for the ship and its captain so she could accept that he hated her personally for what she did to his best friend. As long as he respected her orders as his superior officer. "I'm not sure about him and LaMarr though."

"What do you mean?" Ed asked.

"Just those two, together." Kelly said with a shrug "Its a little like letting the biggest class clowns sit together at the back of the room, isn't it?"

"But they aren't sitting in the back. They are sitting in the front, where both of us can keep an eye on them." Ed pointed out. "John likes to talk. He's going to be engaging anyone who sits next to him. And if there is anyone who can carry on a conversation about A'askvariian dancing girls while still piloting a starship safely through a stellar debris field, its Gordon."

Kelly wasn't sure if she agreed but clearly Ed had thought this out. And it seemed to be working okay so far. She could always bring it up again at the next assessment if that changed.

"Besides," Mercer continued, "the rest of the bridge crew is rock solid so I think it balances them out."

"True. Isaac is an impeccable officer. You got lucky getting the only Kaylon in the Union. And Bortus is serious and professional 100% of the time." Kelly said. One could hope those two would be a good influence on Malloy and LaMarr.

"Plus, there's Alara." he reminded her.

"I don't know, Ed. She's so young. I'm not sure if Gordon and John respect her enough to follow her lead when they don't feel like it. Like you said, she is pretty green." Kelly said dubiously. Ed frowned at that.

“Alara is a great officer. Dedicated, can recite the Codes of Conduct forwards and backwards. Whip-smart, knows when to obey orders and when to question them. You know, you might consider offering her a little career guidance sometime. She’d make a helluva First Officer someday.” Mercer took a swig from his glass and leaned forward to set it on the table.

“She seems to be doing well as Chief of Security.” Kelly responded.

“Yeah, she’s good at it. Great at it, in fact. But she’d be good at anything she tried. There’s no reason for her to be stuck in Security her whole life just because she is strong.” Ed said, then chuckled a bit. “Though when she busted that door right out of the wall, that was pretty bitchin'.”

Kelly studied her ex-husband over the rim of her glass of the opalescent Orellian liquor.

“You really admire her.” she said before taking a sip.

“Of course.” he answered automatically. Then he noticed Kelly’s eyes on him. He knew her looks. “I admire all my officers. Every member of the crew.” He clarified. Or tried to.

Kelly’s “mmhmm” was a vague acknowledgement of his words. She was annoyingly good at that: responding without really reacting which usually led the other person into a conversational trap of some sort. 

“Dont ‘mmhmm’ at me. If you’re insinuating my respect for her is less than professional-“ Ed said, defensive.

Kelly rolled her eyes, tossing back the rest of her drink and thunking the glass down on the table to interrupt him. “I know you better than that. Even if Union regulations on crew romances weren’t a bitch to navigate, you would never put one of your officers in an awkward position.”

“Especially not one who is half my age.” Mercer muttered pointedly.

Kelly knew her ex well, both as a Captain and as a man.

“Relax, Ed” She leaned forward and gave his hand a pat where it rested on his knee. “Its just a crush. They happen sometimes but before long they pass. It’s harmless.”

Ed glared at her mulishly. He knew she wasn’t wrong, and she was just trying to help him stop feeling so conflicted. But it was a lot easier to pretend none of it was happening when no one put words to it and spoke them aloud. 

They both knew that not saying things was easier. They also both knew that lack of proper communication had been a killer for their marriage. It was too late to save their relationship, but they could try their hardest to work together as the best commanding officers they could be to their crew. Through unspoken agreement, they both endeavored to be honest and straight forward with each other. 

Painfully, even embarrassingly, so.


	5. Majority Rule

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A quick revisit to a few scenes from the seventh episode with a little added (vaguely-shippy and completely self-indulgent) introspection from both characters.
> 
>  
> 
> Or, what Ed and Alara are thinking about her undercover disguise.

  
“Oh, and Alara, do something about that nose, will you?” Mercer ordered on his way out.  
  
“Aye, sir.” she said, lowering her eyes.  
  
Alara tried not to be hurt by how abrupt he had been. It was a practical consideration, she told herself, nothing personal to her. Of course she couldn’t go undisguised on a planet that hadn’t had first contact yet. She knew that.  
  
It was just mission prep, she thought, trying to drown out that voice in the back of her mind arguing that just because she is Xelayan doesn’t mean she isn’t just as pretty as Commander Grayson!  
  
Or, you know, any other human woman onboard. Not that it mattered. Of course. Physical opinion was not relevant to anyone’s duties.  
  
Which was just as well, Alara sighed as she applied the patch to her nose to cover the ridges. She looked like someone punched her in the face and she only had primitive medical technology to treat her wounds. At least she only had to wear it down to the planet and not on the ship where… anyone could see her.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
Mercer met them at the shuttle bay to greet their guest from Sargas 4. He exchanged pleasantries with the young woman but she seemed more interested in gawking around at the ship. He took advantage of that as they headed for the conference room, stepping closer to Alara.  
  
“Report.” he kept his voice low.  
  
“This society is weird, sir.” Alara whispered back. “They take their social media very seriously. John is in trouble.”  
  
Ed gave a grim nod in response.  
  
When they arrived at the conference room, Ed pasted on a smile and waved Lysella inside. Before he followed, he turned to his Security Chief and paused for a moment.  
  
Alara was taken aback when her captain reached out to pull off the strip concealing her Xeleyan ridges. She had removed the itchy sweaty headscarf in the shuttle but she had forgotten about her nose.  
  
“That’s better.” he said and smiled as he gestured for her to precede him.  
  
As she headed inside to her seat, Alara was glad once more than Xelayans don’t blush.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
When Alara returned from dropping Lysella off on the planet, Ed was there to meet the shuttle again. He told himself he was just checking on the situation. Making sure the shuttle wasn’t seen, and Lysella wasn’t going to out the existence of extraterrestrials to her planet. The Orville would catch hell from Union officials for that kind of interference.  
  
After what happened to John, and Alara’s own close call with the Weird Hat Sect, he also needed to make sure Alara made it back safely.  
  
“Everything go okay?” he asked as his Security Chief disembarked.  
  
“Smooth sailing, sir.” Alara nodded and stood at attention.    
  
Ed had noticed she did that more when she was feeling unsure. Taking refuge in professionalism.  
  
He couldn’t blame her. It had  been an unsettling case of first contact. The Orville had experienced the worst of the Sargas 4 society and almost lost a member of the crew. After his experiences with the Krill, Ed hadn’t liked the idea of sending his officers in undercover to begin with. His fears has only been confirmed. Thank god they had all made it back this time.  
  
“Quite a mission, huh?”  
  
Alara sighed and some of the tension eased from her body.  
  
“Yes, sir.” she said.  
  
“Maybe don’t let John hump anything next time,” Mercer smiled to ease the sting of the criticism, “But you did the best you could down there. Good job.”  
  
Alara smiled her thanks.  
  
“Well,” Ed said, clapping his hand on her shoulder. “I’ll let you get back into uniform. Can’t have you looking the 1990’s exploded all over you while you’re on duty.” He looked over her disguise again. “Can’t believe everyone on Sargas 4 wears those badges all the time.”  
  
“Yeah,” Alara glanced down at it the red and green voting buttons on her badge. “Its really important to them what other people think of them. We obviously don’t go as far as they do, but that’s true in Union societies too, isn’t it?”  
  
She wasn’t wrong, Ed thought. Humans sought approval from each other in plenty of toxic ways, and he was willing to bet Xelayan’s weren’t that different. Maybe if more people voiced their approval and demonstrated their good opinions of others, Sargas 4 society wouldn’t have evolved the way it did.  
  
Ed Mercer tried to learn from mistakes, even if they weren’t his.  
  
His hand dropped from Alara’s shoulder and pressed the Upvote button on her badge. It glowed green for a moment. When she met his eyes in surprise, he gave her a wide grin and a wink.  
  
“See you on the bridge.” he said, the corners of his eyes crinkling, and turned to leave the shuttle bay.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is missing something but I cant think what.... i'm open to suggestions though


	6. Cupid's Dagger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A quick revisit to a few scenes from the eigth episode with a little added (vaguely-shippy and completely self-indulgent) introspection from Alara
> 
>  
> 
> Or, what Alara is thinking about Ed's reaction to Darulio.

“Oh my god”  
  
Shit. The Forensic Archaeologist who had been assigned... she knew that name. She’d heard it a few times when the Captain and Commander were sniping at each other about their ugly history. That is, before they’d agreed to both be more professional and stop fighting. At least on the bridge. She'd looked up the guy's file back then and asked just the right question to get Gordon to spill the whole story after a few drinks. Alara knew exactly who Darulio was.

There’s no way the Captain could have guessed this guy would was going to show up on his ship.  
  
_I have to warn him_ , she thought. The bridge was way too public to be calling him on comms to say “by the way, the new guy is the dude who cuckolded you”.  
  
“What is the matter?” Bortus beside her asked. Alara hadn’t realized she had spoken aloud.  
  
“Aw…,” ‘shit’ she didn’t finished saying before racing off the bridge.  
  
Alara raced across the ship, nearly a blur as she sped past other crew-members in the corridors. She pounded down the staircase and ran through another deck to reach the shuttlebay’s upper level.  
  
“Ensign Brooks, put a hold on the shuttle.” she ordered, desperate for just a minute or two alone with Mercer to warn him.  
  
“The shuttle just docked.” The ensign on duty informed her from his station.  
  
Damn, she was too late.  
  
“Crap,” she said quietly, watching from the upper observation deck as her Captain walked into an emotional ambush, “It’s Darulio.”  
  
“The guy she cheated with?” the ensign asked. “The one with the stuff coming out of his head?”  
  
“How’d you know about that?” she demanded, wanting to protect Ed from the gossip.  
  
“You told me.”  
  
“Oh. Yeah.” Shit. She was the gossip spreading Mercer’s business. She hadn't really known him when she started sharing what she learned with others. Alara regretted that now. It would be all around the ship as soon as Darulio's name got out. “Uh… that’s him. That’s our forensic archaeologist.”  
  
And the absolute last person Ed Mercer wanted to see on his ship.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
When she joined them on the flight deck, she could feel the tension coming off Mercer. He may have shook Darulio’s hand, but Alara was pretty sure Ed would rather have set the blue man on fire.  
  
“Hey. Hey, guys.” Her greeting as she joined them was awkward but then so was the entire situation.  
  
Ed glanced at her. Geez, if looks could kill his face would blunt-force-trauma Darulio right through the floor.  
  
“Alara, show Darulio here to his stupid lab,” Mercer ordered.  
  
He caught her eye briefly when he turned to march out. He probably didn’t want to face anybody right now but he’d given that look and she was sure it was because he didn’t want her to think he was angry with her. After all, it was her job to vet incoming visitors to the ship, Alara should have warned him. She had tried. She knew he wouldn’t blame her in the slightest for not getting there in time but she kinda blamed herself for letting him walk in blind.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
“So… you know Kelly and Ed?” Alara couldn’t help asking as she escorted Darulio to his lab. She kept her face impassive, curious what he would say to someone he thought didn’t know the history. Would he confess to being a homewrecker? Would he make up an elaborate lie?  
  
“Yeah, yeah I do,” he said but didn't elaborate. Vague was the easy way out.  
  
“Did you guys, like, go to school together…?” Alara asked innocently, trying to lead him into a trap. Mainly she was just curious if he was sorry. If he regretted ruining a marriage or was the least bit ashamed of it now that he faced the people his actions had hurt and could see for himself the damage it had done to their relationship.  
  
But Alara didn't get an answer. At that moment Darulio ran right into, or rather right _through,_ Yaphit which was an effective distraction. And she wasn’t able to steer the conversation back to her commanding officers before they reached their destination.  
  


* * *

  
  
  
Alara couldn’t help but be impressed by her captain when he talked down the Bruidian and Navarian ambassadors. They were literally ready to kill each other before Ed started talking, and by the time he was done he had them both in agreement and even complimenting the Orville’s hospitality.  
  
She knew Darulio’s presence had his head in a mess. That he could put it aside to smoothly bring two warring cultures from the brink of annihilating each other was why he sat in the Big Seat. Ed even managed a couple convincing smiles for the delegates while trying to sooth them. He was pretty incredible.  
  
But Alara didn’t miss the murderous look Ed gave Kelly before he left. Or the fact that the First Officer didn’t leave with the Captain. She followed Kelly, determined to find out what that was all about.  
  
When Kelly admitted what had happened not 5 minutes before, how Ed had found her in bed with Darulio again,  Alara wasn't just impressed by Ed's behavior. She was in complete awe of his professionalism and self-control. If she had been in his shoes she wouldn’t have been shmoozing angry delegates with a grin, she would have been punching holes in the bulkheads. To basically relive the worst day of his life  
  
Even after several minutes of Kelly’s gushing, Alara still didn’t get it. She couldn’t really understand the apparently strong appeal of Darulio. He wasn’t that good looking and he was only average charming. Nice enough but she doubted _he_ would have been able to keep peace with the delegates.  
  
“Was it like that with Ed?” Alara asked when Kelly started talking about Darulio’s magnetism being like a drug.  
  
The two men were really different, but obviously Kelly had seen the appeal in Ed too. She had married him, after all.  
  
“Totally different. Ed’s the kind of guy you could send out for tampons and bagels. And he always made me laugh.” Kelly explained, or tried to. It wasn’t getting much clearer.  
  
“That sounds nice,” Alara pointed out.  
  
Wasn’t that kinda thing why people wanted partners in the first place? Xelayans didn’t put much stock in the idea of a grand fairy tale romance. She knew humans were different  but surely they knew that some kind of intense initial infatuation didn’t mean much if the person wasn’t going to be there to support you. To have someone consistent, considerate, who works with you to help you achieve your goals and pushes you to be a better person. These things were  more important in Xelayan culture than love at first sight or ‘fireworks’.  
  
Evidently they weren’t more important to Kelly. The fact that doing her job and meeting the ambassadors hadn’t been more important either got Alara worrying. Kelly started gushing again and by the time she was talking about soul mates, Alara decided she need to look further into this blue butthead who kept replacing her Captain in the esteem of the woman who claimed to love him.  
  
  


* * *

 

  
  
When Ed’s professionalism slipped and he blew off the Bruidian ambassador in favor of a date with Darulio, Alara had to act. The thing with Kelly was weird enough, but for Ed to be negligent of duty? Just to make a move on his archenemy? Alarm bells were ringing in Alara's head.  
  
Darulio’s admission that he kinda sorta 'accidentally' roofied the Captain and First Office with his species’ mating pheromones had her seeing red. The man knew damn well what his physiology was capable of, he had taken no steps at all to prevent it from happening, and he was entirely unconcerned about it now. Forget that it could lead to war between two cultures, or that Ed stood to possibly lose his ship and his rank if the Union admirals ever found out he was in the sack when he should have been on the bridge.  
  
What made Alara sick was the loss of agency Ed and Kelly were experiencing. It was bad enough to be forced to do something against your will, but to be tricked into thinking you wanted it by an alteration to your body chemistry? The potential emotional trauma that could result from people running straight towards the very thing they loathe…  
  
Alara was ready to break Darulio into tiny blue pieces and shove them out the airlock.  
  
But right now, that wasn't going to help her captain.


End file.
